Damn you life coach for making me revisit this

So this Friday I was out with my sister, and unfortunately one of my ex potential peeps rocked up at the same place we were at.  He said some random nonsense that I dont care to repeat and as he walked away my sister calmy said "No wonder you are still single sis, mhm your Mr Potentials" while shaking her head. 

Although they have been far and few damn have they been crazy and some...... so this post is just about reviewing the ones that stand out for me and you can then tell me if Im still alright to stay single or not.

MR MIDGET
Highly placed banana republic politician wanna be he is associated with one monkey show youth group that shall from now remain un-named.  He was shorter than me and what he lacked for in height he made up for in expensive clothes and a pompous attitude.  I would be lying if I said the whole 3 hours or so I spent with him he asked me anything about my self.  He only wanted to talk about himself, his expensive shoes and his flights from there to there......my point is he was on the severe end of the SMS (short men syndrome) spectrum and thank God for my sense of humour otherwise I would have, well with my personality I wouldnt have done anything anyway as is usually the case...

MR CHEAP MIDGET (ALSO KNOWN AS JIM COMES TO JOBURG)
Think I would have learnt my lesson about dating small men OH no I had to do this, just because this is the year of saying YES oh well boy do I regret this.  First he takes me out to Wimpy because he does not understand what you can eat at a coffee shop! I mean I only go to Wimpy for Coffee not their food! He then asks me to help him go shopping for clothes because he likes my taste in clothes (well I do have a good sense of style, if I may say so myself).  Well BEEG FREAKING mistake I was supposed to be the stylist here, but he only wanted to shop at one shop and after almost an hour we left with one pair of pants, and when we went shoe shopping LORD OF THE UGLY SHOE PEOPLE help me, he exclaimed so loud when he saw the price I had to leave the shop immediately and havent been back to the shop yet ....

MR JUST GOT DIVORCED
I must admit these guys get me all the time, I swear they must be telling each other somewhere "There is a sucker willing to take your sob story".  I mean I have recognised that I have social worker tendencies and tend to want to mother people, but yes these divorced men have gotten me good! I love babies and to see an old man cry because he is loosing his baby, I would go out with him 3 times in one day just to ease the pain.  But I have learnt my lesson thank you very much, soon you discover why their wives left them, they are just overgrown, judgemental, annoying babies.  THANK GOD I am not going out with any divorced men ever again because if another one approaches me with that story I will kick him in the nuts.......


Just in case I still have a lot of these types to go through I have decided to pen God a little note;

Dear God
Since my significant other is still at your production line at the factory before you send him to me please I beg that you add these extra's to him:

This guy's dreadlocks, body and demeanor! oh I would move to the caves and smoke the greens for him.

This guys sense of style and his love of all things beautiful and arty, and it would help if he is brainy too.  Not just sly, but brainy. 

So in short I am asking for a mix of the two people and I am sure you can work something out, if all fails just give me dj Glen Lewis I'LL BE HAPPY.

I thank you.